It happened again the other day. I received the results of a contest I had entered and discovered that one of the judges had circled every "was" in the entry and wrote in large capital letters -- PASSIVE VOICE. Somewhere at some time in some RWA chapter or national workshop, someone had told this judge, as well as many other RWA members, that "was" is a no-no. Editors like action verbs. "Was," along with its brothers and sisters (is, am, are, been, were) is passive and a surefire way to a rejection letter.
WRONG!
Passive voice is when an action is acted upon the subject, rather than the subject acting. The car was driven by Anna is a passive sentence. Anna drove the car is an active sentence. However, Anna was happy to drive the car is not a passive sentence. Anna is expressing emotion. She is acting, rather than being acted upon. Of course, there are more interesting ways to write the sentence to show Anna's emotions, but that's a separate discussion.
One of the easiest ways to tell whether your sentence is active or passive is to analyze the position of the subject, verb, and direct object. In active voice, the subject (the one performing the action) will come before the verb (the action), and the verb will come before the direct object (that which is being acted upon.)
There are instances, though, when passive voice is necessary to the unfolding of a story or better suited to the realism of the dialogue. When we speak, we don't first think whether our sentences are active or passive before uttering them. We just speak them. Manipulate a sentence to avoid passive voice in conversation, and you often transform snappy dialogue into stilted dialogue.
For example: Billy ran into the house and cried, "Mom! Come quick. Snoopy was hit by a car!" This passage accurately illustrates the way a child might respond to a car hitting his dog. Snoopy was hit by a car is a passive sentence because Snoopy is being acted upon by the car, but the child mentions Snoopy first because the dog's welfare is uppermost in his mind. Also, by placing the last sentence in passive voice, the author is actually ratcheting up the tension. We don't know until the very end exactly what hit Snoopy. A stray baseball? A nasty neighbor? A falling tree limb? Although A car hit Snoopy, is active voice, using it actually lessens the impact of the sentence.
Still squeamish about the use of "was"? After you have finished your manuscript, do a search of the word. Check each sentence to see if you can rewrite it to avoid using "was." If you can, and it doesn't detract from the pace, dialogue, or meaning of the passage, do so. If not, leave it. Some "was" were meant to be.
EXCEPT in the subjunctive.
The what, you ask? Subjunctive case or mood is one of the most misunderstood rules in the English language -- and virtually unknown to most contest judges who will circle a "were" and write in a "was" because the subject is singular.
I once had a contest judge, a college English instructor in her "day" job, circle a "were" I had used in a subjunctive sentence, draw a happy face, and write a comment expressing her delight at seeing the sentence written properly. Apparently, it doesn't happen very often.
The subjunctive applies to cases of "wishfulness" or "what if" situations. In these cases, "was" becomes "were," as in, I wish I were taller. "Were" is also used when a sentence or clause uses "if," "as if," or "as though," but only in instances where the statement is contrary to fact. Examples include: If I were taller, I could see the stage better, Her twelve year old son acts as if he were in kindergarten, or The maid behaved as though she were queen. Because I cannot grow taller, the twelve-year-old is not in kindergarten, and the maid is not a queen, all the statements are contrary to fact, and "was" becomes "were" even though the subjects are all singular.
Keep in mind, though, that the key statement here is "contrary to fact." "If" statements that are not contrary to fact retain the singular form of the verb. If I was at Starbucks that day, I don't remember is a correct sentence because the statement is not contrary to fact whether or not I can recall the event.
So don't be afraid to use "was" and "were" in your writing as long as you use them correctly. And the next time you judge a contest entry, please make sure the sentence really is passive before circling that "was" or not in the subjunctive before doing likewise to a "were."
© Lois Winston
Award-winning author Lois Winston writes humorous, cross-genre, contemporary novels. She often draws upon her extensive experience as a crafts designer for much of her source material. Her first book, TALK GERTIE TO ME, a combination chick lit/hen lit/romantic comedy with a touch of the paranormal, was an April 2006 release from Dorchester Publishing and has to date won a Readers and Bookbuyers Best award and racked up nominations for a Reviewers Choice Award, a Golden Leaf Award, and a Beacon Award. LOVE, LIES & A DOUBLE SHOT OF DECEPTION, a mom-lit romantic suspense, is a June 2007 release from Dorchester.
Lois also contributed to DREAMS & DESIRES, a charity anthology of 19 romances by 19 authors which was released in February 2007 from Freya's Bower. All proceeds from this anthology go to a shelter for battered women. In addition, Lois is a contributor to HOUSE UNAUTHORIZED, a November 2007 release from BenBella Books.
When not writing or designing, you can find Lois trudging through stacks of manuscripts as she hunts for diamonds in the slush piles for the Ashley Grayson Literary Agency. Visit Lois at www.loiswinston.com
